Let me just say first and foremost that I absolutely love being a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom. I love my girls. I love being a wife. I wouldn't trade any of that for anything.
However, it is possible to be a mom AND to do things for yourself. I think moms (and dads) are so self-sacrificing, they forget to take care of themselves as well.
So, don't give up the things you love just because you had kids. It's so, so, so, so, so important to keep your identity.
Don't feel guilty for doing things for you. That's so dumb. It's very cliche, but you honestly can't draw from an empty well.
If there's something you've always wanted to do, DO IT. So your house might be a tiny bit messier, you may not vacuum every day, you may not be able to teach your 2 year old the alphabet and how to read before they even start preschool (that's why we send our kids to school, people), and you may not have a gourmet meal on the table at 6pm when your husband walks through the door. BUT, you'll be happier. And a happy mom makes a happy home. :)
I haven't been doing my photography business for a super long time, but even in the short time I have, I've already noticed a big difference. I'm a happier person all around. I appreciate the time I spend with my girls more, I get the breaks I need, Mike gets one-on-one time with the girls (which they love), and our home is a happier home.
So reclaim your identities, moms, and get rid of the "mom guilt". There's nothing wrong with holding on to the things you love. Quit putting stuff off. You have time for what you MAKE time for.
I'm stepping off my soap box now.
Out.
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3 comments:
Good post. Balance is so hard to maintain, but so important. I don't know if I've mastered it yet, but we're working on it. One of my problems is, I actually LOVE to cook. It is darn near impossible to cook like I would like to with a screaming toddler on my leg and a baby in a seat. (Or to even grocery shop without said screaming toddler, baby and two older kids.) So, whatcha gonna do? I will roll with the punches until I can figure out the balance. It's in there somewhere, but it makes it incredibly hard to do something without the support of family around. Or without a consistent babysitter.
You can also take time for yourself even if you don't earn a cent doing it. So, go read a book in Barnes and Noble or the library, or whatever, and that can be something for yourself. Take a girl's weekend. Stay up late and blog and fry your brain. Works for me! Hahaha.
Ha ha. I am totally lost and gone forever. I don't know who I am anymore, except a bum changing, nose wiping, bath giving, laundry folding, cooking, baking MOM! I need a hobby. A non-mom/wife hobby
That's why I love my friends. Between you and Cheryl, I never feel guilty for taking time for myself, you two always are never afraid to express the joys, pains, and oh my hells of motherhood. I totally agree with you.
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